Allow me to speak to all teenagers and all who are still looking for their partners in life. You may already have struggled with this question, ‘Is it ok to get attached to a non-Christian?’

The funny thing is, the answer is probably also already extremely clear in your conscience and your hearts. There is that irritating inner conviction about what the answer to that question should be. So why is the answer so difficult to accept? Yes, the answer is a clear no. Let me repeat, no.

Before you try to launch into a flurry of arguments about why it SHOULD not be a no, let me first stop you and tell you that my reason for believing it to be a ‘no’ is not because of some high and mighty theological argument. It stems from basic common sense and experience. So hear me out.

First, religion forms the core of our being (or supposed to be). What happens when the core of our being conflicts or is not in-sync with our spouses or future spouses? What happens when our convictions, drive and desires do not go hand-in-hand with our partners’? You know the answer surely as I do. Disaster.

It is really a painful thing to believe fervently in one thing and yet being able to share it with your husbands/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. I love playing badminton. I can play the sport everyday if I can. But my wife does not. How I wished that she did so we could share our passions of the sport together. When I had a good game, I wished she was there to enjoy it with me. When I am playing lousily, it’s great to have someone understand the frustrations. Even a simple thing like sports can invoke such feelings, what more about the love of our lives, God? By the way, we both like tennis too, so we share that together now.

Anyway, my point is this, the future of a marriage built upon 2 separate foundations of belief is definitely shaky. You may have a passion for winning the lost, but you cannot share your joys and discouragements with your husband. You love to spend time reading the word of God, but your wife wishes you can use the time to spend with her instead. How can a relationship like this be good in any sense? Without a common ground on spirituality, everything else will fall apart easily like a house of cards.

Secondly, I’ve seen the effects of such relationships in close friends. Almost all would tell you that in retrospect, it was such a foolish thing to do in the first place. The funny thing? They all had the same answers in their hearts when they were questioning. I believe you will be hard-pressed to find someone who has been there and done that, who would encourage you to do the same. Try it and let me know if you find someone. Many will tell you of their struggles and pain and the immense difficulty of breaking away after fully committing your emotions in a relationship that is doomed to continually conflicts and dissatisfaction.

Even if your partner is easy going, the joy of sharing your love for God is never going to be possible. That in itself, is probably one of the greatest torment you can place yourself in.

Thirdly, please don’t mention about the excuse of trying to bring that person to salvation while being in a relationship. It may have worked for some, but how many success cases have there been? In all my years, I cannot remember any. Ask yourself, is he/she likely to be converted anytime soon? If so, then why don’t you bring him to Christ first? If not, then are you sure your relationship is going to last that long? Are you prepared to enter into a relationship knowing that you cannot share the same convictions and passions? Are you prepared to not be able to have your closest friend pray with you through your difficult times?

I know what I say is probably what you already know. But I do hope that somehow, God will use these words to remind you again of what He has already spoken to you. He is not in the thunder nor the storm, but He is usually in the still small voice in your heart, telling you, that this is not His best plans for you. Are you willing to accept that?